Ugh... This is gunna be a long one...

Ok. I’m not really in the mood for this, but I have a fair amount to write about, so here goes.

I didn't post yesterday, due to the fact I was bloody shattered, so I’ll try my best to make up for it now. Enjoy =)

My psychology experiment yesterday. Oh my GOD I haven’t had so much fun in an age. The aim of the experiment was to test the tolerance of members of staff, when a student walked into the staff room un-invited, and compare the differences between boys and girls.
Naturally, I had to go first. No real surprises there. I could not be more glad that I did.

I thought that the hardest part would be gaining entrance to the staff room. I assumed, incorrectly, that the door to the staff room would be open, so I could simply slip in without making a lot of noise. As soon as the door slammed behind me, ALL the eyes in the room turned to stare at me.
I made a bee line for the sink, where some dirty coffee mugs lay. Unchallenged by any member of staff, I picked one up, and washed it out, not making eye contact with anyone.
At this point, I realised that I had to make some form of contact with someone. I turned to the man stood next to me, who was probably a PE teacher, or some form of maintenance staff, and asked "S'cuse me, where's the coffee?"
At this point, I assumed I would be found out, and asked to leave immediately. Instead, the man says, "Erm... what kind of coffee do you want?"
Slightly taken aback, I replied, "Um, some decaf would be nice... if you have any."
He then hands me a pot of decaf coffee, and I proceed to make myself a cup of very strong coffee. I was going to need it.
Coffee in hand, I proceeded to sit myself about a foot and a half away from a group of PE staff, all talking to each other about something or rather. I put my mug down, crossed my legs, picked up a magazine from the table, and began to read.
I could see them giving me furtive looks from the periphery of my vision, but I could tell that they didn’t have the balls to confront me.
At this point I was thinking, "how far can I actually take this...?"
I began to scan the room, to test this new thought that had come into my head. The initial fear was over. I was never going to get this chance again, so I was going to make the most of it.
My eyes fell on a table, where about 10 members of staff were seated around a grand looking cake.

There was 1 spare seat at the table.

I swear to you, you couldn’t make this next part up. How I kept a straight face, I will never know. It was just one of those moments where everything went PERFECTLY.

I made a beeline for the spare seat.
I put down my coffee mug.
I go to take my newly acquired seat.

The woman sat to my left, I recognised, as the one of the older members of the English department, who is always making us feel so welcome in our own college. She looked me, dead in the face... paused for a fraction of a second... then slides her chair to the side, as to let me sit properly at the table.

I nearly lost it at this point. I could have pissed myself with laughter and amazement. This woman knew me!! She had physically laid eyes on me before, playing cards, and generally making myself unwelcome, yet, she still allowed me to be seated at the table, where some of my own subject teachers were discussing classes, and other teacher like things. The English teacher, who had moved over to let me be seated properly, then turns to me, and says politely, "Would you like some cake?"
If I thought id nearly lost it before... Jesus Christ. I think the only reason I was able to keep it together, was due to the numb shock that had suddenly washed over me. I had been accepted by, a teacher, whom, on numerous occasions, had told be to "Be quiet," or "Go away."
Still slightly bewildered, I asked "Oh... what kind of cake is it?"
"Well," She replied, "its fruit cake..."
"Oh, no thanks" I said, "I’m not too keen on fruit cake."

Having not been challenged by anyone when acquiring my seat at the table, I decided to try a bit of socialising myself.
Across from me, who I had noticed earlier, sat my law teacher, Lisa. She was young, and fairly strict, but still a good laugh as far as teachers go, and I was about to put one of my favourite teachers completely on the spot. It was completely undeserved on her part, but she was in the line of fire, and I had sat down with all guns blazing.

I stared at her. Directly in the face. There was no way she couldn't notice me.

It was at this point, I wish I had brought a video camera of some sort in with me.
Lisa performed the mother of all double takes, and her look was one of total confusion.

Lisa: "Wha-.... What are you doing here Zach?!"
Me: "Oh... Y'know... Just chillin."
Lisa: "Is... Isn’t there somewhere else you are supposed to be?!"

-At this point, she had lost the plot slightly, as had most of the teachers sat around the table, all with looks of utter confusion plastered across their faces.-

Me: "No... Nope. I don’t think so... Why..? Is there a problem with be being here Lisa?"

-The use of her first name, and the smirk on my face, coupled with the unfaltering gaze I fixed her with, made her immediately turn into a 14 year old girl again, as she began spluttering, and desperately looking around her for some support from her colleagues. One such man, (as I do not know his name, I shall provide a description) who was fairly short, round, with white hair, and a bushy beard to match, came to her aid.-

White-hair-with-beard-to-match: "So... you're a student... working with the college?"
Me: "No... No not really."
White-hair-with-beard-to-match: "So... you're just a student."
Me: "Yup. Pretty much."
White-hair-with-beard-to-match: "So what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh... Just chillin really. Enjoying some coffee... y'know?"
White-hair-with-beard-to-match: "Well could you take yourself off somewhere else please?"

-The pre recorded response by all the teachers.-

Me: "Oh... Why? Is there a problem?
White-hair-with-beard-to-match: "Well, this is the staff room. For staff."
Me: "Oh... ok then!"

-It was time for me to make my exit.-

Jauntily, I picked up my mug, stood up, under armed my coffee into the sink, which was about a foot away, dropped the mug into the sink, and, with head held high, and chest puffed out, I began to walk out of the staff room.

Me: "Bye everyone, have a nice day! See you in law Lisa!"

Classic.

I honestly thought that I would be asked to leave the second I entered, but to my disbelief, the teachers seemed more scared of me than I was of them!

I managed 3 minutes and 75 seconds exactly, which doesn’t sound like a long time, but believe me. It felt like I was in there for a good half an hour.

I’ll never forget that experience as long as I live... and neither will Lisa =)

I would like to add, that nothing in this story was exaggerated in any way. It was told exactly how it happened. Do not try this at home, as it would probably be no where near as interesting as if you did it at college.