Ok, I’m not really sure if this is blog worthy, but it did make me laugh, and it is fairly typical of me. Regardless, it should still make you chuckle.
WARNING: SEVERE TOILET HUMOR. DON’T JUDGE ME OR ILL CRY.
This is how, I would have ended heroes.
Much love for Joe, Phil, and Kyle, for not killing themselves when they heard my plotline.
Ok. My plotline is just as complex and convoluted as you would expect from heroes.
I won’t tell you how this came up in conversation, because it’s retarded.
Basically, at some point in season 2, I would have introduced a character, that would poop whatever he wanted. That was his special power. Now, this is where things get a little... typical.
Basically, he hangs around near airports a lot, so, whenever he is in trouble, he just poops out some plane tickets, and goes off on his merry way. During the final fight, against Sylar, because for some reason he is evil again... I think it was because he really wanted the pooping guy's power... I’d kill for that power...
Ok...final fight... so everyone is doing their fake laser beams and shit, and Sylar is all like "RAWR I’m gunna poop so much doom once I’m through molesting this young 15 year old cheerleader" so the guy who poops stuff is like, "Fuck this, I’m gunna poop my way out of trouble." so he poops himself some plane tickets. But, now here's the plot twist, he isn’t anywhere near an airport!
So, after Sylar has been temporally defeated, everyone turns to him, and is like, "Dude, you have to poop out a plane, or we are all gunna get the crap kicked out of us by invincible doom pooping Sylar!!!"
So, that’s the end of the first of the 2 part episodes. The second episode, is basically 20 minutes of all the decent heroes in heroes, trying to convince the lamest one to "poop out a plane," and he is coming up with all sorts of stupid demands. One of them is cake, so, Peter Patrelli teleports himself to a location where there is cake, and brings pooping guy back some. He enjoys the cake, and prepares for the biggest poop of his heroes career. Unfortunately, the cake gives him really bad constipation, so he can’t poop out the plain. At this point, they all lose their tempers with him, and force feed him hippo laxatives. Needless to say, he can’t keep the plane in.
So, they all board the plane, and it’s got everything. In-flight movies, fold up tables, cup holders!!! Everything. They are all ready to take off, (he pooped out a pilot too.) when there is a sudden cry from Hiro Nakamura, as he exclaims they can’t take off. Everyone looks at him, and asked what the hell could possibly be wrong?
"Dere ish now Worcestershire sauce fwavouwed pwetzewls!"
All the remaining characters look at each other, and do a deep intake of breath. Of course, takeoff would be impossible without the most basic of all plane necessities.
Then, Sylar, who has recovered in this time, comes in, grabs poop guy, who is still in the plane toilet, rips his head off, and eats his brain. Sylar now has pooping guys power!!! *Dun dun DUNNN*
Sylar then steps out onto the plain, and looks at everyone.
"I will take all of your powers one by one... there is no pooping guy to save you now..."
Unfortunately for Sylar, he could not control his new power, and unknown to him, he had not only taken pooping guy's power, but also his chronic diarrhea!!!
As he was thinking at that moment, about taking everyone’s powers, he immediately poops countless copies of all the heroes. Claire, thankfully, is naked, and has like HUGE BOOBS, cos Sylar was also a bit of a perv.
All the copies of all the heroes, then kick the living shit out of Sylar, and they all then fly off to Guantanamo bay, to have Sylar arrested. (This is before Barrack Obama shut it down)
Looking back, I think posting this will be a mistake. But then again... none of my creations shall go to waste... Even if they are clinically retarded.
Yes. I had a really immature moment.
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